You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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