Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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