i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
