They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize