Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize