i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
