Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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