Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
