I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
