**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my mouth tastes like poor choices
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize