she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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