Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
