I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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