normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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