I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
