Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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