If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
