Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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