hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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