I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize