i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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