i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
