The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
