Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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