Christians are straight up FREAKS
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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