was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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