i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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