That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
