i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
