It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
