I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
