I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
