I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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