i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
