Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
