ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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