My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
