Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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