I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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