I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
