nut hugger
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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