She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
