I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
