I looked at my own cervix.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
