Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
