Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
