Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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