I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
