At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
