If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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