So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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