i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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