put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
