Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
