I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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