Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
