I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
