let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
