I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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