How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she looked like the before picture.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
