What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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