I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
