Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
