Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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