So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize