they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
