I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
