I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
