no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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