Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
