I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
